Hi all...just came back from tuition. Yes Youth Day today so got holiday!! Well, holiday also quite sian...stay at home for the whole day... morning Syahid and Khalis came over to my house. It was to do our literature project, and we ended up chatting in msn and playing dota...zzzz. Finished at 12 pm. Oh not really finish, course we were like slacking all the way, we ended up doing a bit only. After that i had a bad quarrel with my brother. He's like a computer freak, trying to use the computer all the time. So, i plugged out the wire so he could not use the internet. And he got angry and threw my LITERATURE BOOKS out of the WINDOW. Made me feel like crap. Obviously i have to go down to pick them up right? Then he threw them out again. Made me feel like killing him. Although he apologised, this made me feel that he cares more about the computer than his own brother. After that i went to the cybercafe. Didnt use my own money. Made me feel realy guilty course my father is having a hard time earning money and here i am spending it like mad. I SWEAR that i will never take any of his money again. i WILL definitely use MY own savings from now on. Haiz reading jun hao's blog reminded me of the stupid spoiler event that happened. My father caught me laaa. Walao so its like next time wan go cybercafe nid to give excuses. I hate giving excuses. I really wish my parents would understand why in the world would i go to cybercafes to play when i have a running computer at home. Whenever i ask to play, they will let me play for a while. Then before the time is up, i have to stop. Then i will be thinking @$%$%& wth so fast and the time is not up YET!!! Then we have a bad quarrel and i will be banned from the computer. So how? i went to the next step. Playing secretly. Obviously i got caught. But still didnt learn my lesson. So i tried again and again. got hooked on playing. Then one fine day, my mum came back after 5 minutes. Got caught without even turning on the computer (which obviously shows u how fast my parents are). Got the worst thrashing of my life ever. I got kicked, slapped, thrown about and all the disappointment of my parents. I really felt like...why was i even born in this world of unfairness? So, i go to cybercafes to play. But my parents do not allow it too. So what can i do? i really wish my parents will let me play. Its not that i cannot live without the computer. i wont mind going out with friends, but i hardly get to go out. So its like my only source of entertainment is the computer itself. Really feel like ramming my head against the wall. HAizzzzzzzz.....i am not a 24 hour worker. i also have to stop once in a while to have fun and relax. Why am i being treated in this way? Someone plz help me....i really dont know what to do. i want to play but i have to study all the time. And speaking of all the evil deeds that i have done, some of it are not actually bad deeds. I really do not want to hurt anyone, so i lied. The worst part is where i lied to my parents about my level position in school to make my parents relieved. I really feel bad but i cant break it out to them. they will be very disappointed. And HOLY SHIT WHY IS IT THAT I AM SUCH A GOOD ITEM DESTROYER? I just got a pen from my teacher for youth day and i broke it. -.-lll haiz...kayz i better get back to my homework if i want to play next week. Cya