Slacked 3/4 of the day away today. What am i doing? Theres not more than 2 weeks to the start of EOY, and im slacking away.
Someone was upset ytd night, even though that person told me that she was alright. I didnt really think so. Every single reply seemed...so cold, so distant. It was as though as i didnt even know that person. And it felt...like someone had taken a knife and stabbed me with it.


It wasnt just a stab. It felt like someone was tearing my heart apart. And i cried for no reason.
Had a sleepless night. And woke up at 6 today. Stared at the ceiling, and waited for the time to fly away. Lots of thing were on my mind. Was thinking....whether she was alright. It was plain obvious, that she wasnt in a good mood. From the way she talked. It was so obvious. And i couldnt do anything about it.

Everyone was out today, leaving me all alone at home. Slacked and slacked, did nothing, listened to music, watched tv, talked on the phone, and went down to buy lunch. Went back, and watched tv, talked over the phone again. And practically did no work at all. Whats wrong with me today...

I feel....stupid. I want to help others. And i cant even take good care of myself. I cant even settle my own problems. And i still want to be there for others. All that shouting...even though i closed the door, i could still hear everything clearly. Why? Why must they quarrel everyday? Why cant he grow up for once, and listen, or think twice about his actions? Why cant he stop being childish? All that quarreling. And after that, everyone gets into a bad mood. And the next day, we will be okay again. And we will start quarreling. And everything repeats.
I feel...like im losing everything close to me. I cant protect everything close to me, and they are all slipping away from me. My father has been sleeping in the other room, and hasnt talked to my mum for a long time. Its been a long time, since everyone smiled and laughed. All the laughter...seems to have disappeared. All because of me.

Its my fault. One wrong move. Regret for a lifetime.